We all have flaws, fears, and issues in general. Although looking hard at yourself can cause you to see your own demons, it can cause you to become a better and happier individual. Say you are shy. You can start by trying to make new friends, eventually you will and you will become less shy for it. Maybe you will understand why you are shy, and fix some flaws in you internal scripts. You’ll feel happy because you accomplished a difficult goal, and because, well, you made friends!
You want to find the perfect person or to get that golden job, right? You can fight your way to their heart or to the top. Or you can modify yourself and let them come to you. Think about it: why do you fall for or want to hire that person? Because of what they have. They have the set of personality traits that attracts you to them or makes you want to hire them. Become that person that you want to date or hire. Just as a disclaimer though, I’m not saying change who you are to get what you want. But change what you don’t like about yourself, and embrace the things you cannot or do not want to change.
If you become comfortable in your own skin and know what you want in the world, it will come to you. I’ll give you an example: the romantics. Nowadays, they are far in between and few in numbers. But if they confidently yell what they want, they will end up with what they want. They may get turned down by those people that aren’t romantics, but that kind of relationship isn’t what they want anyway. If you are honestly yourself, you can attract those who honestly like you, which is good.
It’s just the same for careers. Say some guy wants to be a psychologist of sorts. So he starts reading a bunch of psychology articles, books, and whatnot. He gains a lot of knowledge, then goes to college and easily passes all of his classes because most of the knowledge he already knows and obtains his teaching license.